The Decision

Alright I figured it out. By tapping into my indecisive nature, I’ve managed to decide precisely what kind of a blogger I want to be. Answer (D) All of the above. Not all at once mind you. I’m going to adopt a rolling schedule probably in the order I’ve already listed as that will mean I’ve got less to think about. So that means today is Wacky Saturday. See? I totally shrugged off the whole alliteration thing I could have done by waiting till Wednesday. And if that’s not wacky I don’t know what is. So give me a moment to get into gear; it’s been a little bit since I’ve attempted surreal humor.

So… there was once a penguin on a fire hydrant… it was totally odd and out of place. People walking by were all like “Whoa… penguin on a fire hydrant… that’s weird.” Some of them suffered instant cardiac arrest from the shock and died screaming in agony. The survivors formed a lobbying group and petitioned congress for anti-penguin-on-fire-hydrant legislation. It was passed in both the house and senate by narrow margins, but not before three billion dollars in grants for Tabasco companies were attached. The aforementioned was done as a practical joke on a dyslexic tobacco lobbyist with poor hearing. Upon learning the good news the lobbyist liquidated all his assets and spent the money on a program to have “I’m the greatest lobbyist of all time” carved into the earth with giant space born lasers. He had only been able to pay .01% of the necessary cost before learning of his error. At which time he committed suicide by jumping into a pit of rabid wolverines.