Previously on Blogst

Alright, so next up on the lesson plan is me getting all cranky and shouting about how stupid people are. I’ve spent the last five hours locked in my pantry (where else can you be locked up and snack?) listening to Lewis Black tapes and reading Maddox rants, just to get me in the mood. So without further ado, here’s why everyone is stupid.

…

Honestly? I’ve no idea. It might have something to do with the fact that only about a third of the population is capable of formal operational thought, and that third only thinks that way a fraction of the time. Might have something to do with the fact that as our standard of intelligence in society goes up, so does our standard of stupidity and thereby we’ll always perceive such a level of stupidity. But those answers are dumb and stupid, and stupidly dumb. The reason we’re retarded as a species is because of all the time we’ve spent with our heads pressed up against the microwave watching our Spaghetti-Os cook. And not just watching, we leer, like some sort of pervert; cursed with both a voyeurism and pasta fetish as the microwave either slowly fries our brain or gives us superpowers.

If you’re looking for a specific example of human stupidity, I’ll give you one, but first you gotta send me ten bucks. I don’t mean dollars either; I mean bucks, as in grown male deer. Anyway, I don’t much like talking about how stupid the world is as it forces me to ask myself “Why, if the world’s, so stupid, am I am I still struggling along and not rich yet?”